I'm a Jerk!

Not really, but I am busy.

With my job...remember, that thing, that job, I got?

It keeps me busy.

Working.

And I'm tired.

That's why I've not written lately.

I work with kids, you know.

And they're young.

Some are, like, five. Years old.

So, I'm kinda beat lately.

But, I'll write soon. Just know I'm alive, just super tired.

I'll be back soon!

New Job

I started my job yesterday.

Back to the world of schools, children and perfecting my "scary" face (a.k.a. my "stop-talking-now-or-I-will-call-your-parents-and-make-your-world-hellish" face).

It was great to be back working. I'm working at two elementary schools here in Easthampton. Today I'll have my first day at a different school than yesterday. I get such butterflies in my stomach anytime I have to start something - anything - new; I just hate it. But yesterday went well and I'm sure today will, too. It's just the getting into the routine process.

It's really starting to feel like fall here in the Pioneer Valley, too. I always sleep with the windows open and there's such a chilly breeze coming through in the morning, it definitely feels like the start of the school year.

You can practically smell October and Halloween creeping up.

I love it.

Back again!

It's true!! I couldn't believe it either - it's been 4 long months since I last posted anything. Who the hell am I?? Who do I think I am? Some fancy too-busy-to-blog person, apparently.

But, seriously. I wouldn't leave my public (which I'm pretty sure only consists of my mom) for no good reason. That reason was... teaching, people! This job is strenuous! Especially year one, so they say. And especially when you're going to school, too. So I say.

But I'm getting back in the swing of things. After the holidays, I returned to school and got totally swamped, sucked into more lesson and unit plans, the state ELA exams, class novels, etc. It really is an amazing amount of work that goes into it. No one but another teacher or someone who lives intimately with one would understand.

But now it's the end of Spring Break. I've stayed in NYC all week, relaxing, walking and getting exercise and exploring my city. Sunday is my birthday, and tomorrow I go for a spa facial and aromatherapy massage...

...More when I return... (I promise!)

Friday Friday Friday!

Friday.

Our homeroom hosted the 8th grade breakfast today. There's one every month. We eat, we announce the Student of the Month. We miss first period. It's fun. Lots of cutting bagels and smearing on cream cheese. Also lots of explaining the concept of "whipped" cream cheese to skeptical students. It was a successful breakfast.
(Personal note - when I'm cutting bagels and laying out donut holes I can't feel more like I'm being prepped for having my own children by simply being a teacher and doing things that are not what you would consider "teaching.")

Thought my ELA class, which was the 90 minutes following the breakfast, would be a disaster since students were riding the donut sugar high, but it was great. We did test prep (gotta love those Kaplan books!) and began our class novel for Response to Literature, Make Lemonade by Virginia Euwer Wolff. I'm not a huge fan of the book, but it's realistic fiction about a 14 year old girl who babysits for two young children of a 17 year old mother, and the kids love it. It's written in verse (for some reason - if anyone knows please pass on your info!) and there's a ton of figurative language, and the kids love to identify personification, metaphors and similes, so it's a lot of fun.

Everything else went quite smoothly. One of my favorite students to love AND hate has made it her life's work to be crowned December's Student of the Month at next month's breakfast (where one is named each month). So, she's officially on her best behavior, and ROCKED our ELA class today. Hardly talked out of turn or chatted with friends, and did a beautiful and dynamic read aloud with lots of expression.
Oh, and she feels similar love/hate feelings about me, as well. She loves to ask me about my personal life, why don't we have children yet, what's my natural hair color, and what female products I prefer (it was actually relevant - it was a time when all boys were taken downstairs and I declared it "just us girls" and distributed feminine hygiene products).

She also loves to use our personal writing homework assignments as a way to express her anger with me. She has done this on several occasions, some more obvious than others. A letter to her grandmother was a thinly veiled shot at me, where she states her love for her classes except ELA because "I don't like the class or the teacher." The most obvious lashing out being a response to the prompt "What makes you really mad? Use examples to support your anger" where she states that I, Ms. S., make her mad and one reason is that I insist on "saying hello to me every morning even though she knows I hate her!"

Hey, whatever, she's writing, right? And doing a pretty good job of supporting her hatred. I'd kinda hate me, too!

So, as I'm walking the students down the stairs to lunch today, this student says, "You know, Ms. S.," (yes, she's talking to me, because despite her "hatred" of me, she walks next to me all the time) "This has been a good day. Normally by this time on a Friday I'd be hating you by now!"
"Yes, you know what?" I asked. "This has been a good day for me, too! Do you think those things are connected?"
"Hm. May-be."

Um, yeah. I think they are.

Here's to a good day!

The Holidays Already?!

Well, well, it has certainly been a while. Sorry about that! In case I hadn't said this before, this teaching gig's a total burn out sometimes. Meaning, me. I'm burned out. Or perhaps it's just fatigue. Whatever, time is fllllyyyyyyying and it's nearly Christmas. However, the calendar in my mind is already at the end of January, since that's the end of my current unit (not to mention a couple weeks after the ELA State Exam, which is the big fish on the radar right now). Isn't it remarkable how that works! It's strange, how planning actually makes these days I'm going through now seem quite unreal. In fact, I've felt very dreamlike since September. This dreamlike state exists now more than ever, especially because I've gotten past my phase of coming home on Mondays crying and feeling hopeless about the week of teaching ahead of me, and now that I've finally gotten it through my head that Wednesdays are great days for quiet independent reading and any other quiet work, since that's the after-lunch class that would otherwise lose their minds, be rude and make me just want to never return. These are obstacles I've worked my way through, and have only made me smarter (about lesson plans) and stronger (no more crying!!).

This past Thursday our school had a big celebration because we got a good grade on our report card from the city. We held an assembly where a documentary about our school was shown, and then a big potluck for all our students and their families. It was great. The auditorium was packed, there was so much happiness and support, it was really cool. The COOLEST and BEST thing, though, was the documentary. Our literacy coach spent several weeks interviewing students and getting their views of the school, as well as them thanking teachers and saying what is so great about the teacher they thanked. A student thanked me! And the student himself was a surprise - a very talkative but popular boy who I really like, but have given a lot of trouble (for the trouble he causes by talking). But there he was, in front of everyone, saying "I want to thank Ms. Spacek" and though the sound made it pretty hard to hear, it sounded like he said I helped push him to read more and learn how to explain what he was reading better (Literary Letters!!). Anyway, it was awesome - I'm pretty tough and I was surprised any student would thank me, but it happened and I nearly cried. It was great!!!

More soon, I promise!!

Control-freaks, fickle, mean, insane. These are the kids I know, I know.

Yes, I'll admit it. I don't care. This is my weekly reflection for my Pace University class. I'm double-dutying it. That's right. Who are you to tell me I can't? (Oh, wait, sorry, you weren't judging me and responding like a mean and rude 8th grader? Oops! Sorry!)

In response to the topic "What I have learned about my students":

Control-freaks, fickle, mean, insane. These are the kids I know.

Okay. I follow the "No Personal Attacks*" world of thought. Hell, I am a product of that world. I introduced it to my students, we brainstormed what it means, we discussed how to start a comment/response to someone else respectfully... I've followed through, we still refer to it. But...

In my Advisory class I have 12 students, half are rude, mean, cruel and talkative, so the other half are unfortunately bored out of their minds because the RMCT kids get all the attention since I'm constantly reprimanding them. We've had four meetings so far, attempting to build trust and all that, to make it a safe place to talk about real life issues, etc., thus "No Personal Attacks."

There I am at the beginning of our first class, I'm expecting things to go smoothly, everyone to be warm and cuddly and teddy bears and nice and caring, kids will open up, which will allow other kids to open up; maybe some Barbara Walters interview-type crying, followed by young-adult revelations of what it takes to be a great person in this world, no doubt ending with "I love you, Ms. S-" "You're the best teacher!" "Three cheers for the greatest teacher in the school!". . . no.

That's not what happens. It's "Shut up" "No, you shut up" "Stupid" "You're stupid" "You're a dummy" "Shut up" "Quarter Ho" (that might have been "Corner Ho" - not sure), and so on. I'm yelling for quiet, and thus the chaos only gets livelier. Drama.

So. Today, I assigned seats. I let the kids complain, in a one at a time discussion, about why they think I've declared "no laughing" in Advisory. I try to explain that I want laughter, but when it's appropriate. So on. . . and on. . . and on. . . and on (did I mention they are all big talkers?).

Finally, I asked them what their best memories of Advisory in past years are. They got into it. They shared. I heard about wonderful games, trips, stories; great memories with other teachers. They told me I should talk to these great other teachers and get advice, and also bring in food. I made no promises. They told me about a used condom in the recess yard. I let them laugh uncontrollably for 10 seconds. They got to finish off the period telling "funny" stories about crazy people on the subway. I told them we could end with funny stories in every class (God help us), and next week we're starting with student surveys and talking about trust and they were okay with it.

Essentially, What I have learned about my students is that these kids get into it after we talk it out for a while. They want to be in control. I let them feel like they were. They are still mean to each other even with "NPA" but because they are enjoying the class a little more (because they have the control and can talk about condoms), they are no longer calling each other "Quarter/Corner Ho's" (Hoes? Hos? And I call myself a teacher of English Language Arts!). And that's good enough for me, at least for this week.




*Please have respect for each other**.



**i.e. DON’T BE AN A**H***!




***
- Don’t say “shut up”
- Don’t call each other names.
- Don’t laugh at each other, especially if it is
a serious conversation.
- Don’t hit each other.
- Don't make fun of each other.

update

silence = exhaustion and lesson planning

Week THREE already??

It's true! We're about to enter Week Three. Hooray! I'm not dead! I'm still alive! I have survived!

I met up with my fellow fellers on Wednesday at a Pace-area bar, and it seems like it was pretty unanimous: those kids just don't shut up! That said, I think we're all freaked out and exhausted, but thank goodness it's hitting all of us, and not just one.

I was struck by how much my fellers are juggling. I've felt like I've been drowning all week, and I have only one ELA class that I'm teaching (though I'm also teaching 5 AIS periods a week, multiple library periods that must be determined, Advisory and have at least 3 meetings each week that I must attend). But there are some of my fellers that are doing all that AND teaching three English classes, some different grades to boot. Tough! My respect goes out to them. Right on! You can do it!

I was also struck with sympathy and anger for the fellers that expressed frustration at not being able to offer any kind of punishment, negative reinforcement (hello, detention???), to their students upon incidents of extreme misbehavior. My school is all about detention, and though I've only given one so far this year, to a student who called me a liar (for asking him to stop talking*), I know as a teacher who is striving to control classroom behavior, it's nice knowing that detention is an option. Or calling a parent. These other fellers can't call parents! What is going on here?? I am really surprised by that. I made a point of calling all parents between last week and yesterday, to introduce myself. It was a positive call. And the parents actually did seem to appreciate it. It was a chance to touch base. Many of them expressed thanks at my call, and told me to be sure to call them if there was any concern or too much socializing, one parent said she'd "nip it in the bud." Overall I think it's a great thing to be able to utilize parents in the process, and I would be upset if that was not an option available to me.

Okay, back to planning... working on the Short Story unit now.
I love suggestions, so whether you are a teacher or a regular joe/jane who likes stories, give me some ideas!!

*I'm stealing from another blog, Sassafras Junction, as I refer to this student as a "devil child," but here it goes: DEVIL CHILD! Do you think I don't see you talking, your lips moving, and hear the sound coming from your mouth, when I tell you to be quiet!! I'm not just going to randomly tell you to stop talking if I don't know it's you. But I KNOW it's YOU! You are looking right at me, your mouth is moving and I hear you and then you call me a LIAR??? I DON'T THINK SO! DETENTION!!!! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!!!!!
(feeling much better now, thank you!)

Color me blue!

I like this template and color scheme much better. Less frantic. Surely this will help me calm down with all my lesson planning, eyeball gouging, etc.

Yes, yes, don't worry, I will fill everyone in on the first week of school. Basically, it was great!

Tuesday: Day 1. All day 8th grade orientation. My partner, Mr. W. and I spent all day on our feet and boy, were we tired after that!

Wednesday: 1st day of normal class schedule for 8th graders. Administered a few writing samples, had my first ELA class at the end of the day. See, I'd been preparing for this all summer. Before this day, I had all my lovely first lesson plans - count 'em, FIVE! - ready, as well as my first two weeks layout of classes. Because I knew that I'd be teaching double periods (90 minutes), my lesson plans were nice and chunky and ready to utilize each minute. Seriously, I had EACH MINUTE planned. But no! Night before regular class schedule, we all get an email that we are having a special Advisory period, 7th period (last period) on Wednesday. Sooo, there goes half my class. And, although I did a clean switch-a-roo of certain elements of the lesson, pushing them into lesson plan #2, the class unfortunately spent a great deal of time trying to figure out who was in whose advisory, and where were they meeting (this consisted of all students talking at once, and me sending a nice girl to my neighbor, Ms. T., and to the AP several times, searching, searching for answers. Alas, I didn't consider that my first "real" class.

Thursday: My first "real" ELA class. Periods 1 & 2, too, so I had control and energy from the start. It was great!! We spent most time on the old "No Personal Attacks" rule (anyone from Urban, or my Pace English fellows group, appreciates what I'm talking about - for more info, email me!), but that was okay. I knew it would take a while. The kids got REALLY into it, and finally, when it came down to the old fist-to-five assessment, the fewest fingers I got was FOUR!! RIGHT ON 8C ELA!!
The day was followed by a staff happy-hour that was a rollicking good time. Unfortunately, when I left I was a little tipsy and just knew I should have used the bathroom once more, because of course I realized that before I got on the train to come back to Astoria I had to find UNO cards (and any other easy game) for the field trip the next day (that was one way to entertain the kids while sitting in the park). So, after several trips, I found my (completely overpriced) decks of UNO at Essentials on 81st (or is it 82nd? no matter), and by the by, those nice people let me use their restroom! Thank you Essentials employees!

Friday: When I woke up and checked my email, this is what I got:
"Hi Ms. S-----, This is Tiffany H---, I just want to say thank you for the wonderful class about no personal attack it was a great lesson I will see you on Monday."
YEA!! How nice to wake up to that. It was also really nice that I wasn't feeling the effects of the drinking from the night before, because I've gone on field trips with bad headaches and it is NOT fun. But I was in the clear, and feeling even happier about my whole No Personal Attacks spiel, so all was good.
Went to Dunkin Donuts, bought a truckload of stuff for the kids, went to school, had our breakfast, went to Madison Square Park on 23rd. The kids were not thrilled at all about the art work, and less thrilled about the worksheet they had to complete, but most of the time was spent hanging out on the grass, playing cards and talking. It was nice. It was especially fun when I scared some of the girls telling them that Madison Square Park was originally a Potter's Field, and discussing what that meant (and one lovely child screaming, "So there's dead people under us RIGHT NOW?!?!"). Fun fun fun.

And that, my readers, was the first week. In a nutshell. Now I've been working all weekend to get the grading system together, and lessons for this week (3 DAY WEEK - THANK YOU ROSH HASHANAH!!). Time for wine and "Flight of the Conchords."

First Day down, only how many days to go?

I'm so tired, this is partly taken from my email to my other fellows...

School's fine - It went really well today. We had a day-long orientation for the 8th grade, so my partner and I were with our homeroom the whole day, which is exhausting. I don't know how elementary school teachers do it, with their classes all day (at least, as far as I remember - maybe it's different now?).

But, aside from some kids truly questioning (not nasty or sarcastic, just really curious) the uniform and a rule here or there, it was awesome. Tomorrow I teach my first ELA class. Let's see how it goes!! I have worked on the class website all night, adding homework for the rest of the week. Oh, and don't forget I have my Advisory Field Trip on Friday, so I had to figure out how to get there (with another teacher's help!) and write out a permission slip. Harder than you'd think!! And Thursday is school-wide happy hour, hooray!!

So far, so good. Hooray, new school year! It feels like old times.

Oh, but I forgot to mention...

I sound so calm and together in that last blog, but never fear my friends.... I am....

freaking out!!

First Day of School

I am lucky enough to do my first year of teaching at a school that I worked at last year as an Urban Teaching Fellow (not to be confused with the NYC Teaching Fellows, which is what I currently am - I know, I've been around the block, eh?).

I went back to school last Thursday, which was the first "official" day of school. Other teachers had been in since that Monday, but since I'd been told earlier this summer that I wouldn't have my own classroom because I was only teaching one section of ELA (English Language Arts), I didn't rush to get back. Of course, when I went in on Thursday I was informed that I do have my own classroom (the library) and I realized I had better hurry my butt up there to start cleaning and making my room ready for a loving, nurturing and intelligent learning environment.

So, two and a half days later I finally got the library relatively classroom-looking, and I'm feeling fairly confident.

Tomorrow, September 4th, is the first day for the kids. They arrive at 8:00am. I will be at the school when the doors are unlocked, at 7:00am, Starbucks in hand, ready to rev (how do you spell that word??) myself up and start labeling my bins for Writer's Notebooks, etc, which I have yet to do. Then my homeroom partner and I will go downstairs and pick the kids up from the cafeteria and bring them upstairs to homeroom. We will all be together all day, for orientation. We will be doing exciting things: filling out blue cards (contact info), filling out lots of thrilling paperwork, handing out supplies (it's a new thing for my school this year - we are giving supplies to each student for $15. This is to create uniformity and clarity in organization of classwork, etc.), doing "two truths and a lie", playing charades for the school's 12 non-negotiable rules, and all kinds of other housekeeping activities. Should be a blast (really? well, maybe not. we'll see!).

If I'm not an empty shell of myself tomorrow, I will write more and let you all know how it went!